A lot of thought, and a certain Archon willing to lend an ear. [Zhongli, of course, but he wouldn't blame Jinwoo if he thought it might be Ei. Either way, taking the time to talk things out and having someone to still his thoughts was a conversation he desperately needed to have, and it's centered him as a result.
He notes how Jinwoo refers to him and blinks- Ayato may not know Korean, but he can note the difference. Ayato-nim to Sangsa is an incredible change, and he isn't about to take that lightly. There is a nod here, one that is respectful and also thankful that Jinwoo is willing to listen. As for the questions- it takes him a long second to find how to explain himself, exhaling and closing his eyes for a brief second. Then, he opens them again.]
If I were to name my feelings in a few words about everything you asked, it would be this: Absolutely vile.
[That... is a very strong set of words for a man who tends to be very neutral in his language. Ayato pauses, gesturing again with his hands, eyes firm and voice steady.]
The actions the Order takes are ones I've always disagreed with. Be it through recruitment, how they treat others, the leadership itself- I've despised it since the day I was forced to become a member. And while I am aware and agree that the Order is a form of necessity for those who need it, I also know what it is like to run a similar organization but do so with consideration and utmost care.
[He looks at Jinwoo at that, head tilting as he lets that information sit in the silence between them. He really hasn't told many people how much he hates being forced into this. To act as their mediator because otherwise he'd cause problems, and they had better uses for people like him and knew exactly what to use to keep them in line.]
Does my answer surprise you? I'm aware of how people perceive me due to the names I've been given. [Names he never wanted. Names he hated with every fiber of his being.] But the fact of the matter is that despite my reputation, I have never once truly been glad or thankful to work for the Black Order. None of it was ever my choice to begin with.
no subject
He notes how Jinwoo refers to him and blinks- Ayato may not know Korean, but he can note the difference. Ayato-nim to Sangsa is an incredible change, and he isn't about to take that lightly. There is a nod here, one that is respectful and also thankful that Jinwoo is willing to listen. As for the questions- it takes him a long second to find how to explain himself, exhaling and closing his eyes for a brief second. Then, he opens them again.]
If I were to name my feelings in a few words about everything you asked, it would be this: Absolutely vile.
[That... is a very strong set of words for a man who tends to be very neutral in his language. Ayato pauses, gesturing again with his hands, eyes firm and voice steady.]
The actions the Order takes are ones I've always disagreed with. Be it through recruitment, how they treat others, the leadership itself- I've despised it since the day I was forced to become a member. And while I am aware and agree that the Order is a form of necessity for those who need it, I also know what it is like to run a similar organization but do so with consideration and utmost care.
[He looks at Jinwoo at that, head tilting as he lets that information sit in the silence between them. He really hasn't told many people how much he hates being forced into this. To act as their mediator because otherwise he'd cause problems, and they had better uses for people like him and knew exactly what to use to keep them in line.]
Does my answer surprise you? I'm aware of how people perceive me due to the names I've been given. [Names he never wanted. Names he hated with every fiber of his being.] But the fact of the matter is that despite my reputation, I have never once truly been glad or thankful to work for the Black Order. None of it was ever my choice to begin with.
[Just like so many others.]