[ he was scared. of course he was scared--he had spent his whole life in the Order with his head down, and now he's going to have to go to war with the leaders of the ...

...He had signed up for this. He rememebers, keenly, Zhongli offering him a pact, an out, and he'd been too prideful to take it in the moment. Promising he'd come back to accept it once he'd paid Jusis back his kindness.

And there's a tiny
small
part of him
the most cowardly, self-preserving part

that wishes he'd taken the pact then and there

and separated himself from all of this. He wraps himself closer to himself, and he feels the shadows cling closer, and he tries his best to focus not on the echoing of his own heartbeat but instead, on Lapis. ]

...Not alone.

Right. You're right. 'Going Solo...' I've been like that for so long.
I don't remember the last time I have been alone.

Since I came here.
Since I met you. [ there's... life, in that sentence, as if a realisation, that it'd been so long since he was truly in the haunting, echoing silence

that he can't actually

remember what it feels like

to be away from the warmth of someone elses' presence. ]