[ he's always been able to hold it together. His heart always staying above the water because he had to, at the risk of letting go too much. if he let go, Ashborn would come in and take over, just like it promised.

but today had been a lot.
These last two months had been a lot.

He's sitting a little curled into himself, and when he's grabbed and hugged close by Lapis, he almost startles.

Which makes his head turn, and he looks up at Lapis, almost shocked for a moment, as if he weren't expecting the sudden embrace.
He's glowing--moreso than usual--and with the smoke coming up off his body, like shadow but living--he takes a deep, quiet breath and shakes his head.

He's glad he has his hood up. He can turn his head and try to hide his face--which has the shadows curling so hard around him it's started to look like armour. A form he usually only takes when inside the spirit gate. ]

This is the second time I lost my home. ...And it could have been the second time I lost my family, too.
There's really no escape from this, at all.