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[ It has been an incredibly difficult few hours - Lapis is only recently up and moving again after recovering from her injury, and everyone is just... exhausted and aching. It all brings the realisation that the Order has had enough, and will deal with them and the others by any means necessary. It was only a matter of time, really, between the lack of pay and radio silence. But that doesn't make any of this any better.

The room they've been given in the Ghost City is nice, secure and comfortable - which is especially welcome after everything they've been through. They're clean and changed into clothing more in-tact and less bloodstained, and Lapis tries not to wince as she takes note of the sleeve wrenched off her old dress. The memory brings back that horrible ache, so she tries not to think about that.

Her focus instead goes to Jinwoo, where he sits upon the couch in their new room. He's been holding himself together, but she also knows him - knows him well enough at this point to tell when he's really, really not okay. And he absolutely isn't right now.

But she doesn't say anything, instead simply sitting next to him and reaching an arm around his shoulder, tugging him to lean against her. A silent reassurance, and a gentle encouragement to let out everything he's holding in. ]

[ he's always been able to hold it together. His heart always staying above the water because he had to, at the risk of letting go too much. if he let go, Ashborn would come in and take over, just like it promised.

but today had been a lot.
These last two months had been a lot.

He's sitting a little curled into himself, and when he's grabbed and hugged close by Lapis, he almost startles.

Which makes his head turn, and he looks up at Lapis, almost shocked for a moment, as if he weren't expecting the sudden embrace.
He's glowing--moreso than usual--and with the smoke coming up off his body, like shadow but living--he takes a deep, quiet breath and shakes his head.

He's glad he has his hood up. He can turn his head and try to hide his face--which has the shadows curling so hard around him it's started to look like armour. A form he usually only takes when inside the spirit gate. ]

This is the second time I lost my home. ...And it could have been the second time I lost my family, too.
There's really no escape from this, at all.

[ It has been a difficult few months, just one thing after another, all becoming progressively worse. And now that mutt was here, along with the horrible reminders of what he has done to other teams. Of what was planned for them - the thought of seeing her friends, her family, like that is more thsn enough to make her anxiety spike.

But she can ignore that as she focuses on Jinwoo, watching as the shadows drift up and curl around him, and then simply pulling him closer. Tucking his head against her shoulder, so he can hide there, as a hand rubs along his back. He was there for her in the midst of her panic and rage over remembering Douman again, so the least she can do is be here for him now. ]

We can rebuild, even if that means starting from scratch again. And the old man is tough, he... He would've been alright no matter what.

[ She doesn't want to consider any other possibilities. ]

Not until we take down the Order. It can't keep going on like this... And once we've done that, you'll be free.

[ he doesn't for a moment resist being pulled in--even moving to curl his arms up a little so he can bundle against her quietly with a soft sigh in his throat. A fear that bubbles up in his throat as he feels the edges of himself curling into smoke.

He's not so far gone that Ashborn's close, but. He can feel those pitless hot violet eyes on him. ]

We're still not even done. That was just one set of their monsters. We have more to deal with than that.

There are hundreds of them, worldwide.
If we keep killing them like this, they'll --

...

What if next, we have to face the higher-ups.

We're like bugs to them.
I met one, once.
I don't... remember who they were. I think my memory of them was removed, by whatever magic they have. But their presence was so heavy, I felt sick.

[ Her arms squeeze tighter around him, holding him close to reassure him that he's not alone. He's never alone now, not anymore. ]

We will probably have to face the higher-ups soon. We... can't keep letting them send their Zealots after us and risk people getting caught in the crossfire.

[ With Dan Heng getting killed, and Rose and Fugo being thrown into that Labyrinth... It can't continue like this. And letting this continue would only wear them down too.

It has to end, one way or another. But hearing what he says about the higher ups... She bites on her lip, worry curling in her chest. ]

It's going to be hard, the hardest thing we've ever done. But you aren't alone, none of us are, and I imagine we aren't the only ones tired of things now...

I promised you would be free, and I'm going to keep that promise.

[ he was scared. of course he was scared--he had spent his whole life in the Order with his head down, and now he's going to have to go to war with the leaders of the ...

...He had signed up for this. He rememebers, keenly, Zhongli offering him a pact, an out, and he'd been too prideful to take it in the moment. Promising he'd come back to accept it once he'd paid Jusis back his kindness.

And there's a tiny
small
part of him
the most cowardly, self-preserving part

that wishes he'd taken the pact then and there

and separated himself from all of this. He wraps himself closer to himself, and he feels the shadows cling closer, and he tries his best to focus not on the echoing of his own heartbeat but instead, on Lapis. ]

...Not alone.

Right. You're right. 'Going Solo...' I've been like that for so long.
I don't remember the last time I have been alone.

Since I came here.
Since I met you. [ there's... life, in that sentence, as if a realisation, that it'd been so long since he was truly in the haunting, echoing silence

that he can't actually

remember what it feels like

to be away from the warmth of someone elses' presence. ]

[ Lapis sees how he curls more into himself and how those shadows cling closer, and takes a moment to shift him in her arms. Moving his head against her chest so he can hear the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, calm and strong, as she holds him close to her. A hand rubs at his back in a soothing motion, while the other threads through his hair - fingers lightly brushing against the base of those horns.

All to help remind him that he's not alone. She's right here and she's not going anywhere.

And it's a relief to hear that life in his voice, as that realisation comes to him. Though... she falls quiet for a moment, before shaking her head. ]

I didn't do much. [ She's just one of many people he's met, after all. ]

It's not just me, but everyone else you met here. You'll never be truly alone now.

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night of the raid

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