lowestclass | IC INBOX

I think I missed the first potluck by a few weeks. I was getting my things ready for a re-assignment for a while. I misplaced quite a few things, so, I.

[ he trails off. To listen. quietly eating as he does keep himself rapt on Zhongli's every word--foolishly, almost like a child listening to his grandfather's fondest stories.

There's... comfort in his chest, hearing that Zhongli has finally been freed. The whole point of the two month boat trip had gone off with... several hitches, certainly, but not enough to ruin the whole thing beyond repair. Zhongli was free.

And Jinwoo finds himself smiling, despite himself--a warm, fond look at the man sitting across the table with him.

One that is immediately shaken off with a startled look of--something like shock. He'd been considering leaving the Black Order eventually, yes, but he'd put it in his mind as something he'd get to five--ten years? Down the line?

Having it offered to him here and now--

Sorry, Zhongli. He drops his chopsticks with a clatter.

And then immediately moves to snatch them up, hoping one didn't break-- ]

Ah. Ayi...

[ give him a second. give him a second, give... ]

Your freedom was. Important to me, it's why I wanted to go on that trip, and...

[ he can feel his face and neck flushing. Could he? Really. Really be free? This soon? This easily? ]

I.
I didn't think that's what. This talk was about, I'm sorry, You. You caught me off guard.

[ he's... absolutely shaking. ]

[Zhongli's surprised at the sound of dropped chopsticks, but not offended, just concerned. He pushes his chair back slightly. Jinwoo looks pale, paler than usual, and for a moment Zhongli is worried that he's about to collapse.]

My apologies...

[He goes to Jinwoo's side and kneels, not wanting to intimidate him or scare him, just. Wanting to be here. If the chopsticks are on the floor or anything else, he'll pick them up and set it aside.

Then, tentatively, he sets a hand on Jinwoo's arm.]

You might say that I do not owe you a debt, and in truth we had no such agreement, but I still made a promise to you. As the once-God of Contracts, I always keep my promises. Whether it be right now, a year from tomorrow, or perhaps decades in the future, I will not forsake you.

You have only to say the word, and I will steal you away from those who would do you harm.

I do not believe that, between those who care for one another, there exists something that can be called a 'debt' when it comes to doing things out of kindness or affection for one another.
It's been... a long time since I have felt such genuine concern from someone. I... is it pathetic to say I. Missed the feeling? ...The reminder that out there, somewhere, exists someone who thinks about me, without ulterior motive. With... genuine concern?

My own family --believe me dead. I have given up on the idea that I would feel like this again.
[ and yet here he is--fighting back tears of... joy. he's certain this is joy, and it bubbles up and foams over uncontrollably. He's only recently turned 30--yes,--but in this moment, he feels like a 19 year old again, being reassured by a his grandfather.

Ah.

This was... ]

Hara--no, Zhongli.

I want to be free. I ... I truly do.
But I want to make sure I pay back Jusis first. He's done me more kindness than anyone else in the Order has for a decade.

...

And I cannot leave without Lapis.
She deserves to be free, too.

[Zhongli is quiet for a long moment as Jinwoo talks through his feelings. They aren't turbulent, but they are strong, and Zhongli can't help but relate. His amber eyes soften.]

It isn't pathetic at all.

[The Black Order took a lot from their lives, collectively, but it also gave them shelter. It isn't something Zhongli will forget. For him, home looks like a person. Or maybe several people.]

... I understand.

[His lips curve in a faint smile. For a moment, he seems a little more like a god. There is benevolence, rare and precious but real.]

There are things that must be done from the outside, and others that can only be done while inside the Order's walls. I share his vision, and I intend to help how I can.

[Figuratively, if not literally. Though seeing Jusis with the mark of the God of Freedom's blessing only solidified that in Zhongli's mind.]

There is a place for you both, when you are ready.

[ Maybe it isn't pathetic. But it feels so very much so--he's a grown man; he made his choice, even if it felt predatory at the time. He'd accepted that actions had consequences, and had he been more careful in his rush to get to work...

...

No. Blaming himself for his fate to wind up so far from where he wanted to be in life wasn't the answer here. Zhongli. Zhongli was the answer; the open door he'd been quietly wishing for without realising it. He can feel the corners of his eyes burning as the other stands so close to him. And while Jinwoo had never really been someone so reverent towards the idea of god--but. It's this moment when it truly clicks for him.

Even if Zhongli doesn't sit in the seat of a god any longer.
He's still worth looking up to--putting his faith in. He finally moves his hand to put one over the one on his arm. ]

I'll help you, as well. 'From the outside'. Once I'm free, I. [ He breathes, quietly. Audibly. ]

Give me a few months. To get my things straightened out. ...Soon. There's such a. Large part of me that is screaming to do it now, but.

That sort of immediate, thoughtless decision is what got me stuck in the Order in the first place.

[Zhongli gives him time to think his words through. It's a big decision, and he wouldn't want his charge to feel pressured or rushed. He's already feeling the pressure, surely... There's no need to add to it when Zhongli's offer is unconditional, along with his affection.]

Take as long as you need.

[He means that. He has all the time in the world.]

If you are staying a little longer, then I would like to ask a favor of you. This is not a contract or a promise, but a request from an old colleague. You may disregard it if you wish or change your mind and leave if you must. I will not hold it against you.

[a pause]

... Still, if you would indulge this old man's wishes, then please help Jusis. Be there, if you can. He carries the future of the Black Order on his shoulders. The burden of power and the pivot of destiny can be... alienating. Yet with the support of people like yourself and Lapis, he will surely persevere.

Edited 2023-12-18 12:12 (UTC)

Thank you for understanding.

[ he raises a hand, moving to touch his eyes--making sure he wasn't a fool who started crying at the moment he was shown such unconditional kindness--finally shifting his expression to smile at the other. ]

..That sort of favor to ask me is nothing, in the face of everything else you're offering me.
I'll help Jusis. Always. He's the first person in the order to treat me like a member of his team--instead of just deadweight or a liability. Maybe it's a bit optimistic of me to give him my loyalty on that alone, even if I leave the order... but.

But.

I can't ... let that kindness go to waste. I want to help him. The burden he'll have won't be easy. I know that.
You have my promise. Even if I leave the Order, like you did.

I'll always have his back.
...And yours, too.

IC INBOX

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject